Sunday, March 25, 2007

DON VITO CORLEONE, I WANT YOUR BABIES!

(beware of spoilers. You have been warned. Plus, for the stupid, this is only one person’s opinion. You don’t have to like the movie because E says so. Really.)

I have accomplished one of my life’s (many) dreams.

Some of them are not exactly dry.

One of those is to watch arguably the best movie ever made to date, and that is The Godfather. I sat through all three hours on my numb glutes, to the end of the credits, then rewound and sat through the credits just to listen to the music one more time.

I remember feeling like Renée Zellweger meeting Tom Cruise, except that Don Corleone had me at “an offer you can’t refuse.” Then I set up an altar to worship Don Vito Corleone, and gave thanks for the coming of Marlon Brando. And people said that he was past his prime before this movie. I may not admire the man in his entirety, but damn I look at the character he portrays – the head of a Mafia family – and I am forced to question the miserable existence of what I may endeavour to call “my manhood.”

Okay, maybe not that far. I realise I’m only a 19 (going on to 20) year-old kid, and I guess I’m not cut out for maturity just yet, but the film pushes aside all that I found cool about the Mafia when I was a… little kid (hell I’ve already used the word “kid”) and replaces it with something more profound.

I used to find all that gunning and politicking in the Mafia – er – “cool.” All those rough-faced thugs in glamourous suits, the wonderfully astute Mafia leaders, the gun battles and the car chases and the secret meetings and handshakes. Of course, I knew I wasn’t cut out for that (I wouldn’t survive a second in the Mafia world), but no-one stopped me from admiring all that, just like no-one stops girls from saying that looking at, say, certain female actresses makes them feel lesbian.

What’s worse is that certain male actors make girls feel lesbian. I feel for those guys.

Anyway.

The thing about The Godfather is that it centers on a Mafia family. The way Don Corleone keeps his together is cool. He doesn’t just kick the asses of those who go out of line, he also keeps a human side to the Mafia. Maintaining a joie de vivre, enjoying and living a full life – of course, while kicking the asses of those who go out of line.

During his daughter’s wedding, he attends to requests for help from friends of the family (“No Sicilian can refuse a request on his daughter’s wedding day”), and periodically goes out for dances with his wife and to hang with family friends and allies. He loves his children and is deeply regretful at his youngest, most capable son, whom he never wanted to be a Mafiosi, eventually getting involved in the family. When a member of the family dies he exhibits staggering grief – but is still strong enough to support others in their’s. All this makes his youngest son (and eventually successor) look cold-hearted and merciless – who takes the family to staggering heights, but loses his humanity along the way.

The thing I learned about the Mafia is that it’s not just about guns, glory, beer, booty and violence. It’s also about the family that slays together and stays together.

Now – at risk of sounding cheesy – I appreciate my family and especially my parents for staying together through twenty-five years of shit and storms.

Flowers do grow on the shit, and they make all that time worth it, I think.

-E

(on a much less serious note – if the above can indeed be called “serious” – I watched Mr. Bean’s Holiday today. Every bit as corny and hilarious as the first Bean movie. Do yourself a favour and go watch it.)

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